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Getting Married in Church
Vicar: Rev'd David Swales | Curate: Rev'd Helen Lealman
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The Content of the Marriage Service

Introduction

[The contents of this section are adapted from a leaflet published by the Communications Unit of the General Synod of the Church of England, Church House, Gt Smith Street, London SW1P 3NZ.]

Every year, hundreds of thousands of people get married in England. More than half tie the knot during a religious ceremony which, for 200,000, about a third of the total, involves the Church of England. It is the most important day in their lives.

WeddingWhether you are a regular churchgoer or not, getting married in church allows you to make solemn promises to the one you love, not only in front of your family and friends but also in the sight of God and with God's blessing.

Marriage, the Bible tells us, is a gift of God in creation and a means of his grace, a holy mystery in which man and woman become one flesh. It is God's purpose that, as husband and wife give themselves to each other in love throughout their lives, they are united in that love, just as Christ is united in love with his Church.

To use the words of the Pastoral Introduction to the Marriage Service in Common Worship: Marriage is intended by God to be a creative relationship, as his blessing enables husband and wife to love and support each other in good times and in bad, and to share in the care and upbringing of children. For Christians, marriage is also an invitation to share life together in the spirit of Jesus Christ. It is based upon a solemn, public and life-long covenant between a man and a woman, declared and celebrated in the presence of God and before witnesses.

This is, of course, the ideal and no true lovers hope for anything less. The church holds firmly to Christ's teaching that marriage is a lifelong commitment.

Arranging a church wedding

Having decided you want a church wedding, the first thing to do is to talk to David Swales, if he is you or your partner's vicar. As the established church, the Church of England gives everyone, with no former partner still living, the right to get married in their or their partner's parish church. (Click here for a map showing the area of Bradford that lies within the St James' parish boundaries.) Phone David Swales on 01274 637193 to make an appointment.

RingsIn marriage, says the service, husband and wife belong to one another and they begin a new way of life together in the community. It is a way of life that all should honour; and it must not be undertaken carelessly, lightly or selfishly; but reverently, responsibly and after serious thought.

If you have seen the Vicar and have been able to book a date, he will arrange to meet with you about three months before the wedding, to make more detailed plans. Decisions on matters such as a Bible reading, hymns and other music are usually made at this meeting.

Legal aspects

Your forthcoming marriage has to be announced or licensed before the service can take place. The announcement is called the banns and must be read out in your parish church or churches on three Sundays before the wedding. If the wedding is in another church because one of you is on the electoral roll of that parish, the banns must be read there, too. There is a small fee for publishing the banns and for the certificate, completed by the priest, that they have been read.

There may be some reason why your banns cannot be read. An alternative is a common licence issued by the bishop of the diocese or his surrogate; one of the local clergy. This will allow you to be married in a parish where either of you has lived for at least 15 days before the licence is issued.

If you have a special reason for wanting to be married in a church where neither of you lives, it is possible to apply for a special licence from the Archbishop of Canterbury. Nobody has a right to one of these licences, so you must have a good reason; not just that the church would look nice in the photos. Write to the Registrar of the Faculty Office, 1 The Sanctuary, London SW1.

To be married by common or special licence, at least one of you must have been baptised. You also have to pay a fee for the licence.

The service

With all that out of the way, there are just two more tasks to enjoy before you can start your married life: a rehearsal with the priest and the service itself.

Most people are familiar with the marriage service. The couple traditionally arrive separately, the bridegroom first with his best man; and the bride, at the appointed time, led down the aisle on the arm of her father or a close relative. The groom's family and friends sit on the right and the bride's on the left. Bride and groom meet at the chancel step.

The priest prays for the couple and declares the purposes of marriage before asking, as the law requires, if anyone knows any reason why the marriage should not take place.

Next come the questions. Will you love, comfort, honour and protect ... and, forsaking all others, be faithful as long as you both shall live? Each is asked and each answers "I will". Turning to each other, bride and groom then make the ageold vows, little changed for more than 800 years ... to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death us do part, according to God's holy law.

By giving and receiving the wedding ring or by exchanging rings the couple complete their promises. The priest proclaims them husband and wife and pronounces God's blessing on them. After the register has been signed, the congregation prays for the couple, asking God's help for them as they begin their new life together. Sometimes, the register is signed right at the end.

Click here for a typical form of Marriage Service.

The rest

Having planned the service, now you can think about the rest of it ... the dress, reception, photographs or whatever else you want to complete your special day. The Church's involvement ends when you leave the church but it will still be there for you the rest of your lives. Whatever else may happen, remember, this is your day - enjoy it.

Paying for your service

The costs of a church wedding are not high. The service itself - access to the church and the priest costs less than most wedding dresses. This is a fee set nationally each year by the Church of England. Part of it goes to the parish church for the use of the building, the rest replaces part of the priest's stipend or salary.

The parochial church council, which runs the parish church, is free to set its own fees for ringing the bells (Bolton St James has none!), having the organist play, the choir, the heating and other things it pays for in its regular services. Here at St James the total fees, which cover the legal and administrative aspects of the marriage, the use of the church building, personnel, and so-on, come to a total of £325.00. An extra £65.00 is payable for permission to make a video recording.

Divorcees

The marriage service makes it clear that marriage is for life; "till death us do part". Sadly, some couples find it difficult to maintain their relationship for better or worse and marriages do break down. The church still has a loving concern for those who have tried and failed and honestly want to try again.

Debates on the rights and wrongs of divorced people, whose former partners are still living, taking the vows and marrying again in church are still going on. In the meanwhile, those who get remarried in a register office (which the Church of England recognises as true marriages) may have a service of prayer and dedication in their parish church. Some parish priests, using their secular position as a registrar, do on occasion marry divorcees in their churches. This is the priest's decision and is not a right of the couple.

Introduction

Selecting just the right Bible reading, hymns, and other music is often very difficult; but the next few paragraphs are intended to help you narrow down your choices and save you lots of time.

Readings

You may have any Bible reading you wish in your wedding service, but most couples select one of the following:

Music

The processional and recessional parts of the wedding ceremony are of obvious importance and you will want them to be memorable, so be sure to give some careful thought to your choice of music.

The Bridal Chorus from Richard Wagner's opera, Lohengrin, has been popular ever since 1858 when Princess Victoria chose it for her wedding entrance processional, and so too is Jeremiah Clarke's Trumpet Voluntary (the Prince of Denmark's March) which was Princess Dianna's choice when she married Prince Charles. But you are not restricted to those two pieces. Here, listed alphabetically by composer, are some alternatives. Just click on the titles to hear a midi version of the tune.

Perhaps the most popular recessionals are Felix Mendelssohn's Wedding March from A Midsummer Night's Dream (chosen by Princess Grace and Prince Ranier of Monaco) and Charles Widor's Toccata from Organ Symphony No 5 (chosen by Princess Ann when she married Captain Mark Phillips); but again, there are lots of alternatives.

For interludes while the signing of the register takes place, you might chose any of the following:

Hymns

When it comes to hymns, you have an enormous range to choose from. You will need to discuss your choice with David, but you are not confined to the hymns in Mission Praise, which is the hymn book generally used at St James.

When making your choice, do bear in mind the ability or otherwise of your guests to sing them, and avoid unfamiliar hymns and hymns with high notes! That said, here is a list of popular hymns from which you might like to choose the two or three hymns that a marriage service normally contains. Click on the Click for words for the words, or on the title for a midi rendition of the tune.

Copyright exists in creative works such as hymns for 70 years after the death of the writer. During that period, it is illegal to reproduce the works in any form without the permission of the copyright holder (or their appointed agent). Therefore, should you wish to reproduce the text of a hymn in your order of service, you will need the permission of the copyright holder for which a charge of between £10 and £25 is usually made.

You will find details of the copyright holder underneath each hymn on the hymn's page, although many of the hymns are out of copyright due to their age.

You do not, of course, need the copyright holder's permission if you are only singing the hymns from the church hymn books, since a wedding is a private function. It is only if you wish to print the hymn words (for example on an order of service) that permission is required.

But what about ... ?

If you still have questions that have not been answered on this page, have a word with the vicar or the curate ... or vist the Church of England's own pages on marriage by clicking here.
"This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about - not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they've done to our relationship with God. My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other." 1 John 4.9-10.
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